life on the outside

Galatians 5:1-14
(I won’t put all the texts down here since I only have the bible in Bahasa with me, so you all may take a look at it by yourself. I give you another passage to read, don’t I? ;D Oh, and please highlight Gal 5:7.)

When I was leaving Indonesia, there was only one feeling and that was excitement. You know what I mean, rite, I’m gonna leave Indonesia and live in another country! That is one of my dreams! Well, I knew I would leave my family, my best-friends, all the colleagues who had always been there when I needed them. I was too excited, though.

However, I did not totally have an idea that I would be away from God Himself. He is everywhere, isn’t He? Once I got here, was going around the city, introduced to few strangers who now become my friends :D, I knew that I have forgotten something essential. Sometimes I forget to pray before I sleep or after I wake up in the morning and I often leave the quiet time that I should not forget behind.

It was Sunday, two weeks ago when Erwin took me to Swanston Street Church of Christ. I was sitting there, expecting something special from the songs and the preacher – something that would lead me to understanding that God is near me wherever I go. I was quite shocked and could not believe that honestly I had difficulty to follow the service. It was simply about language. And the songs as well, anyway. I just read the passage and interpreted them by myself and that’s it. It awfully annoyed me – as if God did not speak at all to me. Erwin said that I will soon be familiar with the system (language and songs), but I wasn’t really sure at that time. And I reckon it explained my absence in church last week.

I was certainly grateful that I have joined the Timothians group and God uses the group to push me to maintain a good relationship with Him. That’s why I got the task to read a passage and share it once a week.

Now let me tell you a strange thing which I believe it was sent by God Himself to call me back. Last weekend, I went to city with Erwin – thinking that there was a special occasion in square. Nothing’s there so we decided to just walk around until it rained and we made another decision – going home. There were two men passing on the street beside us. They wore costume, one man became Jesus with His cross and the other became one of His disciples. The ‘jesus’ gave me a card, which talks about Jesus, the way of the truth and a suggestion to always read the Holy Bible. When I accepted the card, I just read it once, kept it in my pocket coz I thought I knew it already. Not far from it, as we were waiting to cross the street, someone approached me and gave me another card with different contents but the same points. He seemed waiting for me to ask about the card but I didn’t say anything. I kept the two cards – still thinking that I am a Christian and know the truth very well.

The task and the cards, however, always stay in my mind, dunno why. They appear in front of me all the times – when I was reading all the sharings (Dilys’, Ayna’s and Paul’s), when I wore the same pant with those cards in it – all the times. Along with them, I deal with another difficulty: job search. It becomes a scary thing for me that perhaps I won’t get one at all. I simply lost my self-confidence. And I understand it was simply because I’ve been away from Him. I did not build a relationship at all with Him. Those cards were slightly for me, a Christian.

Today, I decided to take several minutes to talk to Him, to seek Him and cried coz I found out that He never leaves me even though I did. If I could build and talk and always seek Him when I was in Indonesia, why couldn’t I do them here? He understands my language, any songs that I sing and I should listen to His words not by my ears but my heart. God really gave me His words from the passage (esp. the one that I highlighted). Life on the outside is terribly hard but I know He will give me strength.

Now, I just want to say to Him: “Dad, I’m back.”

1 March 2006
10:06 pm

ps: Gosh, I’ve just realized that I’ve written long sharing. Once I talk, it’s usually difficult to stop. I hope it doesn’t burn your eyes. ;D

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