Tuesday, March 25, 2008

forgive and forget

This Easter, I have found a new me.

For me, Easter had always been busy weeks, splendid occasions and eggs (lots of eggs!). Yet, this Easter, I've got something
more than those three things.

Moving in my new house was one thing. But, who knew that the moving in could bear a problem, which had been buried for years and nobody but God knew that it had been wildly growing?

From time to time, actually, Easter only means two BIG things: FORGIVEN and FORGIVING. It seems that simple, but it is NOT simple at all. Forgiving is not simple, yet is not easy as well. Jesus has died on the cross so that all people in the world could be forgiven so that their sins be washed away. And His Death was not painless. It was very painful, extremely deadly and extraordinarily cruel. My problem (I mentioned above) dealt much with the two big things. And I just realized that I almost hated that person. We had a quarrel (not just quarrel), nearly the same with our last one few years ago (and we still remembered it, for goodness' sake!!). While we thought we finished the problem, I still planted my hatred to her. I still feel to dislike her from time to time. Until the day came....

I went to church a week before Easter. The sermon talked about being like Jesus. To be like Jesus - according to the sermon - is to be ready to be a better being, a better human. We need to let God to touch our heart, spread peace inside and change us. God sometimes seems to let us deal with big problems, but behind it, there is something very precious to be learned.

A week after that, I had to get ready to become Worship Leader, which meant I had to prepare not just the liturgy but also my heart. With hatred planted and wildly grown in it, how could I be a blessing? Slowly but sure, God had been guiding me to celebrate Easter from old angle. It was no longer about busy weeks, splendid celebrations, nor eggs, but how to forgive and... forget. I have learned that God always forgives my sins and mistakes, but what if he remembers all those sins and mistakes? I just could not afford to imagine! When the big God has forgiven and forgotten my sins and mistakes, then why should I not forget the person's mistakes? Why should I plant hatred in my deepest heart? Why should I remember every terrible words coming out from her mouth just because she also remembered our quarrel few years ago and makes sure that she will not forget this one as well? Why should I? As though I haven't been forgiven by God... as though I were not Christian... as though my sins haven't been forgotten by God....

Now I came to think about this. I don't want to care about her remembering our quarrel few years ago and few weeks ago. For short, I don't care if she might hate me and forgive all things I have done but not to forget. That is her business with God. But this... this is my business with God - that I want to live with peace. I want to live without the hatred planted and grown in my heart. I want to forgive and forget, just like what God has done for me. I want to be a better being, to be like Jesus. Well, I know I will never be like Jesus, but at least I will try my best to always be a better human - to always reach the next levels He has provided for me.

Welcome back, new me.... Happy easter, all!!

Tuesday, 25 March 2008
1:29 pm

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