iseng.. asli iseng!

Suatu hari, tiba-tiba saya ingat tentang Heroes. Itu serial tivi kenapa yang seri ketiga blom keluar-keluar ya? Gimana nasibnya si Sylar? Nasibnya Peter Pettrelli? Atau nasibnya Claire? Duh, cinta banget saya sama serial tivi ini. Terus, ditengah-tengah penatnya kesibukan dan browsing-browsing berita tentang Heroes terbaru *ceilah*, saya masuk ke daftar quiz yang hasilnya dibawah ini. Begini deh jadinya. Terus terang aje, saya nggak pernah nonton Gossip Girl ini, tapi kelihatannya cakep juga nih cowok hehehe. Jadi kayak sesuai selera lah. Iseng aje.

Who is Your Ideal TV Boyfriend?

Created by BuddyTV

Nah yang dibawah ini berharap dapat perannya Claire atau Niki, malah Matt, kekeke.. Ga papa dah. Berarti saya nice girl eh, woman dong ya?

Which Heroes Character Are You?

More on 24. Created by BuddyTV

Cukuplah. Dengan koneksi internet selambat ini, malas banget banyak-banyak. Tapi udah banyak juga kayaknya ya?? Duh.. kapan seri ketiga Heroes ini keluar. Ntar lupa neh... si Maya itu ga usah muncul lagi aja dah! Ga guna kayaknya dia.

Friday, 29 August 2008
3:17 pm

"i have no dream, ma'am"

I meet this girl every week. She studies in a good school. She has good parents who care about her education very much particularly. She is a smart girl as well.

One day, we talked about dream. She became quiet for a minute. I asked her if she had any dream. Well, hey, everybody should have a dream, rite?

Then she answered quietly, "I have no dream, ma'am."

I was stunned. Then after a slight pause, I said: "Let me ask you something. How old are you now?"

"Sixteen years old, ma'am."

"Sixteen years old!! Well, I'm twenty seven years old and I still have a dream."

She just gave me a perplexed look. Maybe she had no idea at all about a dream. It was a pity, though. I felt so. Many teenagers in this country seem to have no dream. I still believe, however, that more will be coming to say that they have dreams to reach.

"Ok. Let me give you a bit definition about dream," I said. "Dream is not always about what you want to be, as you know about it, for example: to be a doctor, an artist, a dancer or a teacher. Dream also deals with what you really want to do, let's say, after graduated from school or university."

She still said nothing, only gave me another puzzled look.

"Well, I will give you what I dreamed of years ago, back before I was still in college."

She nodded and I continued. This was what I dreamed years ago, really. And somehow, I still hope to make it come true.

>> The dream starts here..

The apartment was somewhere in California. It could be in Los Angeles, or San Diego. As long as it was near the beach. I worked in a local magazine as a writer. I wrote what I saw. I wrote what I felt. I wrote what I did. Every morning, I would open my window and took a long breath of fresh air. And do not forget, my apartment was located on the second or third floor, where the windows faced the not-too-busy street so that greeting people walking under the windows in the morning would be the first thing to do to start the day. Then, I would turn my player on so that my favorite music could boost me up while preparing the day. Taking a shower. Brushing my teeth. Preparing my breakfast (with cappuccino, of course!). Dressing up. Fast-reading newspaper. And going off to work. At my workplace, I met nice people who shared ideas and interests with me, and I did not bother those who did not have similar ones since I realized this world would be absolutely boring filled only with similar people. After five, I recollected my belongings, prepared to go home. Yet, I did not forget about my appointment meeting with old friends to chitchat in some restaurant in downtown. On the weekend, I would go around with my dog *Did I mention the dog in the first place? No? Well, it was my dream anyway, I controlled everything here, remember?* called Ares to the park or the beach, meeting new people.

>> The dream stopped here..

"So you got it?" I asked her.

At that time
she was quite stunned. "You called that a dream?"

"Well, yes. Why not? I always dream to live that way. If I could have more than one life, I would beg God for a life like in my dream."

"But you haven't."

"Yes, I haven't, that's why I have another dream right now."

"Well, if you called that a dream, I also have one."

"See? Everyone has a dream. They just do not realize that it is."

She dreamed about living in Switzerland, Greek and Rome - places where histories commonly lie upon and were respected as a part of their country. She said she loved Greek's myth. About platonic relationship between Hera, Zeus and his women. About Apollo's horrible fate of love relationship. About Aphrodite, the beautiful goddess of love. She also said that she would love to study in those countries. "Do you want to study the myth?" I asked. She shook her head. Apparently, she had discussed this to her parents, and they disagreed with her. They said that studying myth had no future. She loved history, though, and old buildings. One day, she would go to the places she could enjoy the history and the buildings. Places like Switzerland, Greek or Rome. One day.

"That's a dream," I concluded.

She nodded.

But I was not quite sure whether her nod meant an agreement or disagreement. Only God knows.

Wednesday, 27 August 2008
1:11 pm

dan seseorang itu...

Dari kecil, manusia dilihat dari bentuk fisik. Untuk diperbandingkan, untuk dihakimi, untuk disayangi. Sedangkan segelintir manusia diberi kualitas otak lebih untuk melakukan itu semua tanpa lagi melihat rupa. Mereka yang lebih menghargai apa yang sudah dilakukan daripada bentuk fisik seperti apa yang dimiliki.

Dan itu bagus.

Menandakan bahwa dunia ini juga terus berusaha lebih baik. Karena cobalah bayangkan apa jadinya dunia ini jika mereka saling menyayangi karena melihat dari bentuk fisik dan rupa belaka. Cobalah bayangkan jika seseorang memberikan roti kepada saudaranya yang satu tapi tidak kepada yang lain, hanya karena bentuk fisik mereka berbeda? Bayangkan!

Malas? Sama! Saya juga malas membayangkannya. Karena orang yang memberikan roti itu tidak terlalu berharga untuk dipikirkan. Apalagi dibayangkan. Who are you anyway?

Wednesday, 27 August 2008
9:22 am

looking for pancasila

Two men and one woman were seeking for Pancasila before the Independence Day. The two men's names are Micke and Pat. Another one is Jess. They had been looking for any place they could think of. Some of them are big stores such as Gramedia, Uranus, TB Manyar Jaya and Gading Murni. In the first place, they meant to seek for a black velvet scroll of Pancasila with golden letters. Schools and Education Institution usually use this for national ceremony. Since they had not found one at all, they started to look for Pancasila in a poster. They began to search in a small shop and any illegal stall at Rungkut or Keputran market.

The two men stopped looking for Pancasila. They did because they had to use their time and energy to do something else which was important as well. The woman did not give up to seek Pancasila even though deep down in her heart she felt desperate. Had Pancasila been really lost? Was that the reason this country has lost control to be better people? Was that the reason the people and this country no longer care about each other? Was that the reason all the people in Indonesia with different tribes and different religions are no longer willing to be united? And where on earth is Pancasila? It seemed like you could not find it anymore.

The woman still did not give up. She was somewhat certain that she would find it somewhere, even though people have really forgotten it, she knew Pancasila still exists. In a very small shop, she stopped by. She greeted the seller. She observed the shop and decided that this shop is quite dirty and dusty. It sells quite old stationeries. Nearly in the corner, her eyes saw what she had been looking for. Pancasila. She pointed it out and when the seller had handed it, she gave a shout of excitement. Pancasila does still really exist! Thank goodness. There are still hope for this country. And what does it cost, anyway? A thousand rupiahs. It was very heartbreaking, to find the precious but dusty Pancasila and it costed only a thousand rupiahs. You cannot buy nice food with only a thousand rupiahs, you know.

Anyway, I am so glad the woman finally found Pancasila - even in a small and dusty shop, Pancasila could be more useful than in, supposed, government's employee's big and expensive house.

By the way, do you still remember Pancasila?
1. Ketuhanan yang maha esa
2. Kemanusiaan yang adil dan beradab
3. Persatuan Indonesia
4. Kerakyatan yang dipimpin oleh hikmat/kebijaksanaan dalam permusyawaratan/perwakilan
5. Keadilan sosial bagi seluruh rakyat Indonesia

Wednesday, 20 August 2008
4:14 pm

ps: and I'm glad I become the woman
pps: Indonesia bisa!


I think I should slow down myself
To keep my mouth shut
and let peace spread out in my mind and heart first
before taking some actions
Not everyone could be like me
Shout and done
That they may need some quiet time
before doing some actions
Even though many times I don't understand
why should they keep frowning to the one they're angry at
when they need their quiet time?

I just... don't understand.
Shout and done.
That's what I usually do.
And forgotten.

God... bless her.
I'm sorry.

Friday, 15 August 2008
4:12 pm

saya vs pembantu

Yang sudah mengenal saya dan tahu saya seperti apa pasti ngeh dengan cerita saya di bawah ini. Tapi buat yang belum tahu, kayak begini model busana favorit saya.

Nih baju yang saya banget! Pas di tubuh saya yang mungil dan enggak berasa panas!

Celana ini juga saya banget! Adem-adem gimana gitu kalo pake celana model kayak begini. Tapi jangan pernah naek sepeda motor pake celana kayak beginian ya! Bisa gosong!

Nah ini... the most favorite one! Saya bisa melanglang buana kemanapun pake ini! Apalagi di mal! Paling enak dah pake beginian. Kaga pegel. Kaga capek. Cuma jadi ga keren aja sih. Kesannya rada ndeso kali ya?

Minggu lalu saya berencana pergi ke Giant untuk belanja bulanan. Kan awal bulan tuh. Hubby kebetulan waktu itu ga bisa nemenin karena ada latihan drama di gereja dan dia harus pimpin. Ya sudahlah, karena persediaan di rumah juga udah tipis pis pis pis... akhirnya saya dengan gagah berani bilang ke hubby: "Iya deh aku belanja sendiri sama Vinn." Hubby sih ga yakin, takut malah lebih repot jagain Vinn daripada belanjanya, yang bisa bikin tambah lama dan ribet. Dia suruh bawa pembantu aja. So, saya terima deh sarannya. Saya ajak mbak-nya Vinn (yang masih umur 17 tahun itu) buat ikutan belanja.

Yang namanya pergi belanja buat saya itu artinya ya pake celana pendek, kaos dan sandal jepit itu tadi. Keluarlah saya dari kamar setelah ganti baju dengan santainya. Waktu mbak-nya Vinn keluar dari kamarnya, ajubileh, saya terkejut-kejut, tertegun-tegun, terkaget-kaget *apaan sehhh* melihat dia dandan abis cuma buat pergi ke Giant! Yang di pikiran saya: Sialan gue mesti ganti baju neh.. entar dikira orang-orang, pembantunya gue bukan dia! Dengan hati sedikit nggondok, saya ganti baju sambil ngomel sama hubby: kalo ga ngajak dia kan aku nggak perlu dandan lagi kayak begini, belanja aja lho ngapain pake dandan. Tapi hubby cuma cengar-cengir sambil ngomong: sukurin lu, makanya belajar dandan dikit kek kalo pergi keluar. Jadi saya sempet ganti baju dengan baju yang lebih proper dan sandal jepit kesayangan saya terpaksa saya tinggalkan. Digantikan dengan sepatu sandal.

Abis itu saya mikir-mikir. Dari dulu sebenernya saya nggak terlalu becus dengan urusan dandan-mendandan diri sendiri seperti ini. Bahkan pake bedak pun kudu terpaksa karena ada mami saya ngomel panjang pendek ngeliat wajah anaknya berminyak. Pas pergi ke ulang tahun sweet seventeen temen dulu juga susah banget saya disuruh pake lipstik. Sampe cici sepupu saya gemes banget melihat dengan keras kepalanya saya menolak pake lipstik dengan alasan: bibirnya berasa nambah beberapa senti tebelnya. Di keluarganya hubby, saya nggak bisa melakukan hal itu. Mama mertua saya selalu rapi jali dan dandan tiap kali pergi keluar biarpun cuma sebentar. Tapi karena kebiasaan saya yang selalu pakai baju dan dandan ala kadarnya itu lama-lama bikin pusing bin minder kalau pergi jalan/dinner sama keluarga hubby. Coz ga cuma mama mertua saja yang rapi jali dan dandan, tapi cici ipar saya (yang always trendy dan mengikuti mode banget), tante saya, dan sepupu-sepupu cewek hubby juga begitu! Jangan sampai dong kalo saya pergi hang out sama mereka terus saya dikira baby sitter anak saya sendiri? Saya nggak merasa kebiasaan keluarga hubby untuk tampil rapi dan dandan itu jelek sih, cuma saya aja yang nggak terbiasa. Dengan mereka dandan kayak begitu bikin saya juga belajar dandan dikit-dikit kali. Meskipun saya nggak selalu bisa mix and match busana yang lagi nge-trend. Buat saya, busana jalan-jalan atau hang-out dan dinner ya nggak jauh-jauh dah dari t-shirt berkerah yang pas di tubuh mungil saya dan celana tigaperempat atau celana jeans dan sepatu sandal ceper.

Apa saya perlu panggil konsultan tata busana ya? Hmm....

Friday, 8 August 2008
2:55 pm

cinta yang tertolak

Prinsip saya yang pertama: kalau bisa dikerjakan sendiri, kenapa harus merepotkan orang lain?
Prinsip saya yang kedua: kalau
lebih beres dikerjakan sendiri, kenapa harus menyuruh orang lain?

Celakanya, kedua prinsip ini suka bikin saya kerepotan sendiri. Hasilnya, saya terlalu sibuk dengan hal-hal yang nggak perlu karena saya terlalu sombong untuk minta bantuan orang lain.

Beberapa waktu belakangan ini, ada saja masalah di depan mata. Yang satu belum selesai, yang lain sudah menghadang. Sambil tertawa terbahak-bahak,
mr. problem berdiri sambil mengangkangkan kaki dan meleceh-lecehkan saya. Dan saya masih saja berkata tidak pada semua yang menawarkan bantuan.

Saya stress sendiri.

Saya putus asa sendiri.

Saya merasa tidak bahagia sendiri.

Padahal itu semua karena saya!

Sampai suatu malam hubby bilang gini ke saya.

"People around you love you very much, but you always refuse their love."

Kepala saya seperti terbentur sesuatu. Prinsip-prinsip saya telah mengikat saya begitu rupa sehingga saya tidak menyadari bahwa orang-orang menawarkan bantuan dan pertolongan bukan karena mereka merasa superior, tapi karena mereka mencintai saya. Lebih celakanya lagi, prinsip itu pulalah yang sudah membungkam mulut saya untuk berseru minta pertolongan kepada Tuhan. Saya TERLALU SOMBONG untuk minta tolong.

Rasanya itu yang mengakibatkan keresahan dan kegelisahan saya beberapa waktu terakhir ini. Jawabannya cuma satu.

"Segala perkara dapat kutanggung di dalam Dia
yang memberi kekuatan kepadaku."

Filipi 4:13

Tuesday, 5 August 2008
11:59 am

ada apa dengan saya?

Akhir-akhir ini saya:

- baru bisa tidur diatas jam 12 malam; tapi mungkin lebih baik, supaya saya bisa menyelesaikan tulisan saya yang tertunda.

- malas makan; kalau ini kurang baik, karena sudah beratus-ratus orang *kayaknya kali ini saya hiperbola* bilang kalau saya tambah kurus. TB: 156 cm & BB: 40 kg. Kurang ya?

Ada apa dengan saya? Kayak orang jatuh cinta saja.... Aneh.

Tuesday, 5 August 2008
9:13 am